Well…As is told you yesterday: I did start school today (yet again!). And it finally – FINALLY – felt right. Yay!
When I first went to Frankfurt I had this sickening feeling. Like I feared something. Which is, of course, complete nonsense, because I was one of the best students in my class. But as you know, I broke down again, went to the clinic and quit school. I wouldn’t have been able to go on with classes anyway, because there were just too many ‘sick days’. Anyways…back to my breakdown: So I was home. Doing nothing besides thinking. (Which is an activity I can’t quite stop.) Well, I was home and I felt like shit. But there was something else. I felt free. I felt like someone had taken out this enormous piece of clay which had been planted right into my abdomen. Which would – who guessed it? – explain the gut-feeling I had. It felt like my body was trying to tell me I had made a mistake; I had done something wrong. Turned to the wrong side. Chosen the wrong path.
And I walked through the doors of the school today, my old D.A.D. at my side (some kind of guide for the emotionally-crippled psychos among us), and I actually felt good. I was a bit nervous – who wouldn’t be? But it was a good kind of anxiety. Just the right dose of Adrenaline pushing through my veins. Most of my class-mates are nice and I already found 2 companions who I can talk to without feeling shitty. The teachers are quite nice, too – and they look happy with what they’re doing! SO happy…And the whole thing isn’t as anon as the school in Frankfurt was, so that’s a big fat PLUS.
But that was just the first day. Of TWO years! Let’s just see how it all turns out, yeah?
I’ll go to bed now and try to get some rest. Maybe even a few hours of sleep.
PS: I’ll try to write a new entry tomorrow, to keep you up-to-date with the whole school-business.
PPS: Does anybody know what’s going on with myblog . de? I can’t reach Mel’s blogs which is totally awesome. *SARCASM* So if anybody knows what the hell’s going on, I’d appreciate a comment or a PM.
Oh, and: Mel, I’m here. Right here, yeah? =)
EDIT: Well…just forget my question about myblog. Seems as if the server crashed or something like that. So now I’m able to follow Mel around like some little kitten. (AGAIN!) *grins* Sorry Mel. But sometimes I just need the thoughts of someone else to distract me from my own. =(