As I told you in my last entry, I wrote to Macy on Facebook, trying to get a hold of her and now I’m back to report what has happened so far.
First of all: I had not counted on a fast reply to my “Hi, it’s me. I’m very sorry about how it ended between us and wanted to know how you are? How’s life?”, but Facebook surprised me with a message from her the next morning! I gotta say…I was pretty fucking excited and terrified at the same time and for a minute, I didn’t know if I should open and read the message or if I should just log out of Facebook and never look back.
But I opened it and I definitely don’t regret it. She wrote: “Hey. Yeah, the circumstances were pretty bad. But I have been thinking about you a lot. How are you?”
Blew me away. The ‘thinking about you’-part, I mean. True, she had never hesitated to express her feelings, but we haven’t had a word in like…4 years (?), so I was surprised – of course.
And then I was like…fuck it. I’m going to be blunt and just ask her if she wants to meet up and just hang and talk. And y’all know that I am NOT the type to do that. But I did. And it kinda worked, too.
I also told her that I was fine. That it could be better, but that it could also be worse. And that a lot had happened and changed.
Her answer? She also went through some changes and that she would love to catch up with me – on Facebook. So there’s your ‘kinda worked’. She then went on saying that she was prepping for her oral exams and that she wants to put all her energy towards that.
At first I thought: There’s your hint, Nike. She doesn’t wanna see you. She has always been the social one, not shying away from meeting someone – so if she says no, she doesn’t wanna see you. Ever again.
But then I got thinking…I’ve gone through my oral exams, too, and prepping for them is crucial. So I thought: Maybe she really only wants to prep thoroughly. And she also offered to catch up via Facebook.
Okay, I said to myself. I replied how I felt when I was prepping for my exams and that all one wants to do is study and revise and study and revise. And that I was happy with catching up on Facebook via message.
I am currently waiting for an answer.
My opinion right now: talking is essential, whether it’s via email or text or Facebook. Try to get a hold of them – but try not to blurt out private details in the first message(s), it might be a bit much to handle. Remember: you probably haven’t talked in a long time, or ended your relationship with a fight or on a bad note. Try handling the first stages of bonding as if you were meeting them for the first time. There’s a lot of weight hanging on a brittle thread, try to see it as something that is very likely to break on the first shake.
That’s what I’m doing anyway.
I’ll keep you posted.
[I’m also working on another entry about health stuff, but it’s incredibly hard for me to write that post right now – I don’t know why. So it might take me some time.]