Wow. These past weeks have been 1. a blow to my mind and 2. a blow to my heart.
My brother started school. Which is HUGE. I mean…he’s my little cutie. I still feel the tiny little hands on my face. And I can still feel his weight of when he fell asleep in my arms after Mom and I got done giving him a bath when he was still a baby. *sigh* These past years of him growing up have gone by like…I don’t know. Whenever I think about it the only thing that comes up in my mind is a ‘swoosh’ sound. Wow. I’m just…I’m happy, of course. He’s learning so much new stuff – reading and writing and all the other things. But it’s weird, too.
Mhm. I have a feeling that, if I don’t stop talking about it right now, I’m gonna cry. So I’ll stop.
I also went swimming. For the first time in like…6 or 7 years. There’s a whole entry coming on this issue, though.
And…well. I felt kinda …not really lost, but behind. Like I got left back. I mean…I know that I’m studying my ass off and that I do other things like help my Mom and give tutoring lessons and so on, but…seeing everyone going off to Uni and moving out and ‘growing up’ just makes me want a ‘normal’ life sometimes. And I know it’s quite silly to think that, but there’s still so much I want to do and…it’s a vicious circle, really. Because I don’t have the money to do the things I wanna do, but without those extras, I might not be able to earn money, so…there you go. (Let alone feeling like I’m not worth anything.)
And yesterday I fell down the freaking stairs at my Gramma’s house. Which also explains the title. My whole body hurts, everything is sore, or black and blue, or both. Ouch. It sucks big time.
Which is also the reason I am now ending this entry, because I can’t move my arms and hands much longer. So I’m off to catch up on my fave TV shows.
See y’all soon.