Man…how long have I been away? I think I last blogged when BED:S was still going on. And on that note: what a freakishly big fail was BED:S? So awful. Enormous fail on my part. Oh well. At least I found out that it’s beneficial for me to really include blogging in my daily life because it really helps me cope sometimes, helps me think.


This past week really, really sucked.

First, there was my grandparents’ birthday celebration on the 29th, which started out good, but ended quite abruptly for me. Around 9.30pm, my Dad started feeling sick, felt a migraine attack coming and then practically stormed out of the room to throw up. 😦 I then took him home, gave him his migraine meds and put him to bed. Watched TV for about 45 minutes because I didn’t wanna leave him when there was a possibility of him passing out from pain, but then I went back to the restaurant where the party was at. The party was in full swing and it was quite loud too. My aunts had organized an entertainer for the evening, so he was playing all kinds of songs my grandparents loved and yeah…the party was going quite well. I sat down, sipped on my water and then took out the camera and took a few more pictures. There was a conga line going on, so there was a lot to photograph, but then my mother’s cousin pulled away my chair (I barely found my balance and almost fell to the floor – all while holding my parents’ new camera, of course) but he somehow found it so very funny and then proceeded to grab my arm and tried to pull me out of my seat and to persuade me to join the line. And when I say grabbed, I actually mean it. He really squished my arm and tried to yank me away from the table. And he wouldn’t even stop! I said no about three times and only when I shouted it, he let go of my arm. I immediately got sick. As in ‘I might have to throw up’. And tears where already welling up in my eyes. Fortunately, the conga line came to an end and I went up to my mum and told her that I’d go home now. Then I said goodbye to my grandparents and practically flew across the parking lot to the car. I just wanted to get out of there as fast as I could. I almost started crying, but I could hold back the tears. Cause driving while crying is not really the safest way to do it. What I couldn’t hold back was the shivers. I shook so bad, it was insane.

I was so sick and freaked out and…only thinking about it is making me sick.

I actually tweeted about it and said I’d write a blog entry about it, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t bring myself to relive it so soon after.

You might think I’m crazy…but being touched is such an abstract concept to me and…it just freaks me out. And being touched by someone I don’t even know, someone I’ve maybe seen 5 times in my life…grrr. SO YUCKY.

I was just so freaked out.

And that was basically the catalyst for a pretty shitty week.

It was awful.

My sleep issues got worse, my days too.

On top of that, I started having cramps and headaches. I really need to get that checked again. These pains cannot be natural. Still having cramps today.

I also am not able to do any kind of translation work, let alone work on my studies. I barely made it through the lost symbol.


I’m feeling really tired and bad and…

I’m just gonna stop right here. Don’t know what to say anymore.





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