Goodbye 2012: the good, the bad, the ugly. And the awesome.

My dear readers, it’s time for a 2012 recap! Oh boy…I cannot believe 2012 is almost over. Just a few more hours to go…crazy! A lot happened this year and I’m going to share it with you (again) right now.


– GOOD: I started and finished a new round of therapy and am getting better bit by bit, day by day

– GOOD: I finally got used to my meds and will not be changing my med plan anytime soon

– BAD: I hit puberty (at 20)! (I think it deserves a ‘bad’ tag, although my psychiatrist thinks it’s the best thing ever. *sigh*)

– UGLY: my body is taking revenge for all the abuse and I have to deal with the consequences now; went to hospital because of severe stomach cramps and suspected appendicitis in Spring

– GOOD: found out that I am breaking free from my parents’ care and that I want to move out

– BAD: still can’t go work/get a job because I’m not feeling up to it yet

– AWESOME: celebrating my 20th birthday

– AWESOME: getting to celebrate my birthday with my best friend, because he remembered when it was and came for a visit

– AWESOME: being able to see my brother starting school

– BAD: getting upset because my tutoring kids don’t want to study, but expect to get good grades

– UGLY: panic attacks, depression, bipolar and insomnia episodes

– AWESOME: see my grandparents celebrate their 70th birthday

– UGLY: feeling bad because I haven’t seen my other grandparents in forever (2 years, I think)

– AWESOME: being retweeted by Michael Buckley (WhatTheBuck on Youtube/@buckhollywood on twitter), because he’s such a big inspiration

– AWESOME: tweeting and writing with my RL and twitter friends and supporting them and getting supported by them. I love them so much.

– AWESOME: family vacation up north with Mom, Dad, Sis, Bro and Grandpa and Ma.

-GOOD: Getting an extension on my course.

– UGLY: having to live in a world where so much hate exists.

– BAD: having to live as a closeted atheist.

– AWESOME: living as an atheist.

– AWESOME: seeing Mel in love.

– AWESOME: my best friend’s move to Berlin where he is studying now.

– UGLY: arguments with my parents/family

– BAD: having no money.

– BAD: the feeling of falling behind

– UGLY: rage outbursts/break downs/mental pain showing itself as physical pain or illness

– UGLY: still not being able to give up self-harm in form of actual self-inflicted mutilation and eating disorder

– BAD: eating too much chocolate

– GOOD: taking time to make art

– GOOD: taking time to relive my childhood by listening to old cassettes and reading children’s books

– AWESOME: living in a world where more and more people can get married to their loved ones

– BAD: living in a world where being yourself is still illegal in some countries


– AWESOME: being a part of the ECHELON

– BAD: not being able to do most of the things I want to do, like travel

– BAD: not having the resources to visit one of my bestest friends Mel in Switzerland

– AWESOME: living in a world where there is so much inspiration in all you see, everyone you meet and hear, music and art you listen to and see, words that are being spoken and all the unspoken things

– AWESOME: having the support of all my friends and family

– AWESOME: receiving so freaking much love


I think that’s enough for right now…I mean I already let you take part in most of it by blogging about it, right? *sigh* It’s weird to know that, starting tomorrow, we’ll be writing 2013. But it’s also great to know that there is a new start ahead.

Some of my resolutions and wishes and dreams for 2013:

  • start another round of therapy
  • get mentally healthy enough to get a job and earn my own money
  • buy my Mother a new kitchen
  • buy a car and move out
  • visit my bestest friends in Berlin and near Basel
  • travel to the US/Canada/the UK alone/or with friends but not family
  • fly to London with Mom and Sis
  • finish my course and get my IHK ‘diploma’
  • learn at least one new language
  • learn to play the guitar
  • read more
  • paint/draw more
  • take more time for myself
  • do a yoga course
  • get healthier
  • find more love
  • start a YouTube channel
  • give more love
  • give more support
  • give more happiness
  • give more hugs

And that concludes the list, I reckon. Of course there is loads more to add, but I’ll stop it here and on a happy note.

I wish all of you, who regularly come by my blog or those who just happened upon it, a happy, happy new year. I wish you the strength to work hard and achieve your dreams. I wish you the energy and imagination to dream bigger than ever and make your wishes come true.

I hope you have a great 2013 and I’ll see you soon.


Loads of love and light and hugs and cupcakes,



PS: Dear C and Mel and all the others I talk to so very often: I love you so much and wish you the bestest year ever! *hugs*





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