4 years ago, on this very day, I entered the psychiatric hospital (well, I went at 9 in the morning, but I could only just now get to writing this post). I was supposed to stay for at least 2 weeks, but after 5 days, I was ready to claw myself out of there.
But that is another story.
This post is basically about remembering that day. Especially since it was a Friday 13th, which, before that shadow-casting event, was actually my favorite day. I guess I was not spared the mystic energy that a lot of people are afraid of. – No, I’m actually kidding. It was my favorite day because of all the scary stories and supposedly mythical importance. I do not actually think it was the day that made everything go wrong.
But yes. November 13th is now my own personal remembrance day. I do think about my time in the psych ward a lot, almost every day, actually, but experiencing the actual day it happened 4 years ago is almost as bad as living through the first days of July every year. 😦
I’m just really…anxious and stressed and depressed and nervous and near tears and jumpy and out of it. On the day, and a day or two before and after. Nightmares galore, as well. And I crave Mini-Christstollen. Which is the only thing I ate during my 5-day-stay. I ate about half a pack in those days. Only had water and my meds. Lost 5 kilograms.
I don’t know what else to say.
PS: NaNo is on hold. Wordcount is approx 35. And I was also completely wrong about last year’s goal or wordcount or whatever. In my last post I was talking about 250,000 words or something. What the actual fuck, Nika? Anyways…it was 66,000+-. So I guess this year’s goal is to finish 3 selected (!) stories, that add up to about 70,000 or 80,000. Who cares anyway.