Remembering Friday 13th. (November 13th, 2009)

4 years ago, on this very day, I entered the psychiatric hospital (well, I went at 9 in the morning, but I could only just now get to writing this post). I was supposed to stay for at least 2 weeks, but after 5 days, I was ready to claw myself out of there.

But that is another story.

This post is basically about remembering that day. Especially since it was a Friday 13th, which, before that shadow-casting event, was actually my favorite day. I guess I was not spared the mystic energy that a lot of people are afraid of. – No, I’m actually kidding. It was my favorite day because of all the scary stories and supposedly mythical importance. I do not actually think it was the day that made everything go wrong.

But yes. November 13th is now my own personal remembrance day. I do think about my time in the psych ward a lot, almost every day, actually, but experiencing the actual day it happened 4 years ago is almost as bad as living through the first days of July every year. 😦

I’m just really…anxious and stressed and depressed and nervous and near tears and jumpy and out of it. On the day, and a day or two before and after. Nightmares galore, as well. And I crave Mini-Christstollen. Which is the only thing I ate during my 5-day-stay. I ate about half a pack in those days. Only had water and my meds. Lost 5 kilograms.


I don’t know what else to say.





PS: NaNo is on hold. Wordcount is approx 35. And I was also completely wrong about last year’s goal or wordcount or whatever. In my last post I was talking about 250,000 words or something. What the actual fuck, Nika? Anyways…it was 66,000+-. So I guess this year’s goal is to finish 3 selected (!) stories, that add up to about 70,000 or 80,000. Who cares anyway.


5 thoughts on “Remembering Friday 13th. (November 13th, 2009)

  1. I remember this day/these days, too. We had just started writing mails, dear. Sometimes I look back and can’t believe we have known each other for such a long time.
    I think the friendship with you is the longest I’ve ever had.
    I love you, Nika, and I’m so very proud of you. You made huge progress since this very day. You may not see or feel it, but I do.
    I think about you a lot. Each and every day. Even if we don’t chat regularly, you’re my best friend beside Nini.
    I’m also proud of you because of the NaNo stuff. I’m proud of you for not stressing yourself to a maniac state and I’m proud of you for writing and … I’m just so proud of you.
    And I love you so, so much. (I still sometimes think about us living in one apartment, cooking and making each other eat.)


    1. That made me cry. But in a good way. Thank you so much! I just love you to pieces! I cannot believe we’ve known each other for such a long time. And I love that every time we talk, even if it has been ages, it’s like no time has passed at all.
      You light up my life with your heart.
      Thank you. ♥

      1. Your answer is perfect. I’m so happy to have you, Nika. And I love you, too.
        “You light up my life with your heart.” .. God. ❤ This may be the most beautiful compliment ever.
        Thank you, too. <3<3<3

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