Past thoughts, present worries and future wonderings.


▪ I was surprised that Mel didn’t say anything about my birthday. A teenie tiny bit disappointed, too. I’m not now, at all. Whatever happened, I don’t know. I mean.. She could have forgotten – and that has happened quite a few times before because my other best friend (of over 17 years) cannot remember dates and times for the life of him so I’m used to that.  😀 Or she might have thought I would rather be left alone since I didn’t write a reply to one of her mails or maybe she had her own troubles, which I can definitely understand.
It was just… I was kinda hoping she’d acknowledge it in some way. I just.. I care about her a lot. So.. Yeah.


▪ I’m currently dealing with the sniffles and really really hoping it doesn’t grow into a full blown cold. Especially since my sister is down with appendicitis and in the OR as we speak, having surgery, so Mom will be in and out of the hospital to keep her company and I’ll be home with my brother.
I’m not that worried about my sister, though. The only things that kinda scare me are these two facts: she’s overweight, which is always a risk. And my family has been known to have some bad reactions to some pain killers as well as some anaesthesia. When my dad was having his surgeries, he was down with nausea for at least a day after operation. So I really hope my sister will feel better after and not have too much trouble with pain and healing.

▪ Kinda worried about hair loss these days. It’s not excessive like I’m losing masses, but it’s definitely more than my usual amount. I’m guessing it’s because of the change of hormones when I switched to another kind of pill a few months ago, which happens and shouldn’t worry me, and I can already see new hair growth. And I know it’s “just hair”, in the end, but I do have a lot of hair and it’s long, too, so I definitely notice and get a bit worried every time, yes.

▪ And I’m worried about the upper hole of my industrial. It’s still swollen and there’s a tiny blister. I mean.. My tragus took over a year to heal completely and that’s just one hole. Plus: I have mental AND physical issues which has an effect on any healing wounds I might have, too. I know that. But there is still this nagging thought in my mind… What if it is scar tissue? Then it’s never really going to go away. It might go down a bit, but I’d probably have to have some minimal cosmetic surgery. And I don’t need that, I really don’t.


I called someone today and didn’t have a panic attack! Neither before the call, nor after. It was awesome. I really wasn’t that afraid this time. And I didn’t even know who was going to answer or how they’d react. Also had never called there before. So things might be looking up?

▪ Internet connection in this house, however, has been bad. Thank you, Telekom. We had a few updates done a couple months ago and things have been worse than ever before. Can you believe that I miss the time of dial up modems? Like.. What? They can grow ears on the backs of mice, but I cannot get a freaking internet connection in my house when I want? What is earth?

▪ Thinking about doing NaNoWriMo again this year. Even if I don’t, I really want to get back into translating and working in that area. Miss it lots.

Yeah. And I guess that concludes this post. Took me long enough. (had to write this on my phone *sigh*)

In fact it took me so long that my sister is now out of surgery and in recovery, waking up. No more information than that, though. Let’s hope for the best.

Thanks for sticking around, guys.


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