Yes, sometimes it’s me. I have bad days. I always try, though. Always.
So why don’t you?
We made some rules when all of this started and along the way. We talked about things that make me feel anxious or angry or stressed or make me cry and be sad or embarrassed. The list goes on. We talked about these things, we still do. I still tell you what agitates me. Usually on a daily basis. Mostly on a weekly one as well. You know about all these things. You know about the questions and the comments that don’t help, that make things worse instead of better.
So why do I still have to hear them? Why don’t you try a little harder, I wonder?
But in the end, it’s your loss. Because these are the exact reasons I don’t have dinner with you – I’d rather eat alone. These are the reasons I don’t want to spend time watching a movie or just having a conversation – I’d rather be by myself. These are the reasons why I stay home when you go somewhere – I’d rather stay away from anger triggers and all the other ones. And from you.
And isn’t that kinda sad?
But what’s even sadder: these are things that could be avoided if you mind the rules. Just like I mind yours.
Sometimes it’s me. I can be a bitch and I’m sorry.
But sometimes it’s you.