blogtober [4] |Quick Quotes #160|

It is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them.  – Agatha Christie


Quick Quotes #41

Bitterness imprisons life; love releases it. Bitterness paralyzes life; love empowers it. Bitterness sours life; love sweetens it. Bitterness sickens life; love heals it. Bitterness blinds life; love anoints its eyes.

– Harry Emerson Fosdick

Calling all the #Fervid and #FoQ / #FisicaoQuimica fans!

Hey guys!

If you’re used to my regular blogs, you’re very welcome to stay, but if you don’t ship #Fervid or aren’t a fan of #FoQ, you might want to leave because it’ll be boring for you, I’d imagine.

To everyone who came here because of the tags, hashtags etc: welcome! I hope you have a nice stay! (Haha, just kidding.)

Let’s get serious, though. I need your help. I recently started watching #Fervid and not only got hooked on those two, but the whole show as well. Trouble is, there are almost no videos with English subtitles to watch on the internet. So I was thinking…maybe there’s someone out there who’d like to help me translate the show and upload it? And if not the whole show, then David and Fer’s story, at least?

Of course there are a few problems that come with my plan.

1. I do not own the show. I researched and found it on DVD for sale on eBay but it was..well, quite expensive. (70£, to be exact.) Which is obviously too much for me. Maybe you can download it somewhere, but this is where problem 2 steps in >>

2. I only speak very little Spanish. I’m studying, but it isn’t nearly enough.

To sum it up: we need the show and someone to translate. You wouldn’t even have to be fluent in English, because I am and would be able to do the subs with your translating skills.

We could totally make a group project out of this as well, if more people are interested or wanna help…but…yeah. I think it’d be an awesome addition to anything that’s floating around the interwebs already. So far I’ve only seen bits and pieces of the show (you always feel like you’re missing something) and not even with subtitles or translated.

Soooo…if you have any ideas on the subject, please do tell. I’d appreciate the help. 🙂


Goodbye 2012: the good, the bad, the ugly. And the awesome.

My dear readers, it’s time for a 2012 recap! Oh boy…I cannot believe 2012 is almost over. Just a few more hours to go…crazy! A lot happened this year and I’m going to share it with you (again) right now.


– GOOD: I started and finished a new round of therapy and am getting better bit by bit, day by day

– GOOD: I finally got used to my meds and will not be changing my med plan anytime soon

– BAD: I hit puberty (at 20)! (I think it deserves a ‘bad’ tag, although my psychiatrist thinks it’s the best thing ever. *sigh*)

– UGLY: my body is taking revenge for all the abuse and I have to deal with the consequences now; went to hospital because of severe stomach cramps and suspected appendicitis in Spring

– GOOD: found out that I am breaking free from my parents’ care and that I want to move out

– BAD: still can’t go work/get a job because I’m not feeling up to it yet

– AWESOME: celebrating my 20th birthday

– AWESOME: getting to celebrate my birthday with my best friend, because he remembered when it was and came for a visit

– AWESOME: being able to see my brother starting school

– BAD: getting upset because my tutoring kids don’t want to study, but expect to get good grades

– UGLY: panic attacks, depression, bipolar and insomnia episodes

– AWESOME: see my grandparents celebrate their 70th birthday

– UGLY: feeling bad because I haven’t seen my other grandparents in forever (2 years, I think)

– AWESOME: being retweeted by Michael Buckley (WhatTheBuck on Youtube/@buckhollywood on twitter), because he’s such a big inspiration

– AWESOME: tweeting and writing with my RL and twitter friends and supporting them and getting supported by them. I love them so much.

– AWESOME: family vacation up north with Mom, Dad, Sis, Bro and Grandpa and Ma.

-GOOD: Getting an extension on my course.

– UGLY: having to live in a world where so much hate exists.

– BAD: having to live as a closeted atheist.

– AWESOME: living as an atheist.

– AWESOME: seeing Mel in love.

– AWESOME: my best friend’s move to Berlin where he is studying now.

– UGLY: arguments with my parents/family

– BAD: having no money.

– BAD: the feeling of falling behind

– UGLY: rage outbursts/break downs/mental pain showing itself as physical pain or illness

– UGLY: still not being able to give up self-harm in form of actual self-inflicted mutilation and eating disorder

– BAD: eating too much chocolate

– GOOD: taking time to make art

– GOOD: taking time to relive my childhood by listening to old cassettes and reading children’s books

– AWESOME: living in a world where more and more people can get married to their loved ones

– BAD: living in a world where being yourself is still illegal in some countries


– AWESOME: being a part of the ECHELON

– BAD: not being able to do most of the things I want to do, like travel

– BAD: not having the resources to visit one of my bestest friends Mel in Switzerland

– AWESOME: living in a world where there is so much inspiration in all you see, everyone you meet and hear, music and art you listen to and see, words that are being spoken and all the unspoken things

– AWESOME: having the support of all my friends and family

– AWESOME: receiving so freaking much love


I think that’s enough for right now…I mean I already let you take part in most of it by blogging about it, right? *sigh* It’s weird to know that, starting tomorrow, we’ll be writing 2013. But it’s also great to know that there is a new start ahead.

Some of my resolutions and wishes and dreams for 2013:

  • start another round of therapy
  • get mentally healthy enough to get a job and earn my own money
  • buy my Mother a new kitchen
  • buy a car and move out
  • visit my bestest friends in Berlin and near Basel
  • travel to the US/Canada/the UK alone/or with friends but not family
  • fly to London with Mom and Sis
  • finish my course and get my IHK ‘diploma’
  • learn at least one new language
  • learn to play the guitar
  • read more
  • paint/draw more
  • take more time for myself
  • do a yoga course
  • get healthier
  • find more love
  • start a YouTube channel
  • give more love
  • give more support
  • give more happiness
  • give more hugs

And that concludes the list, I reckon. Of course there is loads more to add, but I’ll stop it here and on a happy note.

I wish all of you, who regularly come by my blog or those who just happened upon it, a happy, happy new year. I wish you the strength to work hard and achieve your dreams. I wish you the energy and imagination to dream bigger than ever and make your wishes come true.

I hope you have a great 2013 and I’ll see you soon.


Loads of love and light and hugs and cupcakes,



PS: Dear C and Mel and all the others I talk to so very often: I love you so much and wish you the bestest year ever! *hugs*




Under my skin.

I have no idea why I still care. I just know that I do. And it really bothers me. He still manages to get so deep under my skin it feels unreal. The tingling feeling in my stomach and my breath hitching then and again…it makes all of it worse.
When is it going to stop? I want to move on. I don’t wanna hold on to a lost love.

I don’t want to.
And yet, I can’t seem to find a way to stop myself from hurting by clutching broken memories in my hands.

BED:S (21) – Your choice

There are exactly two options:
You can either choose hate and love will die out and we will be reigned by the strong hand of animosity until the end of the world,
or you can choose love and its light will drown the darkness of hate in sparkles.

Choose love.
Spread warmth instead of coldness.

Thanks for reading.