Do you know the movie? I don’t, but I thought the title fits perfectly. Too perfectly, almost.
It’s just… I’m not. Fine, you know. But my usual answer to the ‘how are you’-question is: Fine. What a surprise.
I can’t explain what I’m feeling. And I don’t really want to. And I don’t know why I’m having these feelings.
I just know I went to school today and everything was fine. Duh. And then I came home and everything went downhill as fast as a Greek torchbearer. But I don’t really know if the trigger was my coming home. Or if it was all going down the drain while I was still at school.
It sucks – either way. I’m shaking and cold. Although it’s almost 24 fucking degrees in my room. Waaaaaaaay too hot for me. And I’m not hungry. Although I haven’t eaten in… What? 24 hours? At least nothing besides a third of a granola bar. I couldn’t eat more because I had the sinking feeling I would throw up if I took one more bite. And I still do. If I were to eat something – anything – I’m sure I’d puke my f-ing guts out. The big, fat I-don’t-know-what that’s stuck in my throat doesn’t help with the I’m gonna throw up-feeling.
I’m tired. Of everything. Of myself the most. And I’m worried. And I’m scared shitless. And…
Fuck.
The Way to Wonderland is paved with Madness. 